Robots Don't Sleep

I like to make myself feel sometimes that I can make sudden decisions and go somewhere without extensive preemptive planning. This, oftentimes, is a way for me to bring myself out of a slump or just make an otherwise boring weekend seem worthwhile. I hadn’t been feeling myself lately so I figured that at some point, I’d see a couple opportunities out of the corner of my eye and I’d just go for them. This weekend, I went to Sundance.

Ok, so I didn’t actually go up to Park City and rub elbows with all the rich celebrities and wannabe indie-movie elitists. I heard from someone at work on Friday that Choke, the novel by Chuck Palahniuk, had been made into a movie and its last screening was that night at midnight at the Tower Theater in downtown Salt Lake City. Apparently, the theaters will usually sell to about 85% capacity, and say that it’s “sold out”. Then, on the night of the show, other people that didn’t plan ahead can line up and get wait-listed, which doesn’t necessarily guarantee them a spot to get in. But, if there is enough seats and your wait-list number is below that number, then BAM! You’ve got yourself a ticket.

Fortunately for me, I had nothing really planned for Friday night, and I had been dying to just jump in my car and do something spontaneous. So, I got a couple friends together and we drove down to 9th and 9th to stand in line in the cold from about 8:30 til 10 just to get a wait-list number. Let me tell you, Friday night was cold. Myself, I was wearing a hoodie beneath my new leather jacket, and I was still pretty freezing.

The movie itself was pretty darn good. It was extremely funny at parts and touching in the usual strange Palaniuk sense. It wasn’t Fight Club by any means, which isn’t at all what I went into the movie expecting, but it was good in its own right. It actually won an award at Sundance – Dramatic Special Jury Prize for “Work by an Ensemble Cast”.

I only hope that this semi-spontaneity keeps my motivation and inspiration moving forward. This is how it used to feel in the old days with Josh and Leon at Bridge, learning new things and getting excited about the future.

Today officially marks two quarters left until I graduate. Six more months ’til I’m on my own, and it’s pretty scary. However, these final months in school are going to be pretty much a cakewalk because I’m only taking 12 or so credit hours in each one. Right now I’m at the same time thankful for the credits that successfully transferred to Neumont, and also resentful because of all the credits that just got washed down the drain. Wasted time, wasted money. It makes me realize how quickly I could have graduated had all my credits transferred. I guess it’s all for the better, though. I’m reluctant enough as it is right now to graduate.

Getting back into the groove seems so strange after only four weeks off. When I think about it, my brain feels so empty and it feels like some of the skills I’ve gained have slipped through my fingers. However, once I start working on something, it all comes back in a flash. Strange but true.

I’m working in downtown Salt Lake City this quarter for Enterprise Projects. I’m really excited about this one. Hopefully the project that I get to work on is fulfilling and challenging. The company itself seems pretty cool, but I’m just praying for a strong leader. I wouldn’t be able to handle a repeat of last quarter’s NORMA experience. Ambiguous tasks and no direction whatsoever… two things that I hate in projects.

Also, Austin was great! I had a great time, got to meet some interesting people, and was able to see some old friends from school. It was well worth it. However, over this Winter break I ate entirely too much delicious food and tasted a wide range of new beers. It’s time to get back on the diet and get rid of what’s been building up from four weeks of indulgence.

So I went on a bit of a hiatus from writing. It wasn’t just from this blog, but from all of my online entries. I lasted a couple weeks, but the main reason that I’m back is because I really felt something missing… much like anything that you cut out of your life for a short period of time. I felt that a lot of things kept building inside that I just kind of kept there – and as a result, they sort of lost their importance. Maybe not exactly their importance per se, but they definitely lost something. These thoughts just sort of bubble up in my head and then die out… floating out into the atmosphere and forming white fluffy clouds. I guess I have a need to form them into written words and let them settle somewhere else – somewhere where I can read them later and remember what I felt these past few weeks, even if it’s not anything especially monumental.

Several things have happened since I wrote last. I spent a couple weeks in New Mexico, not really doing much other than hanging out with some really old friends and eating. I ate a lot. I’m pretty sure I gained about 10 pounds from Thanksgiving and Christmas break alone. I’m definitely going to try to get rid of that within the next few months. I also got to see some really old friends that I haven’t seen in a very long time, which was worth the trip in itself. Other than that, I spent my time waiting for Christmas to come… I spent a lot of money on Christmas. I decided to just get gifts for my family this year, but man it was still expensive. I’m a money-spending machine, I swear.

Now, I’m in Austin, Texas with my friend Mike on a mancation. Yeah that’s right, a mancation. Before I left though, I spent two days in Albuquerque with Josh and Aaron, and I just have to say that that was a pretty interesting trip. Interesting is not a strong enough word, though. Life-affirming, maybe? It was like waking up from a weird dream, like looking around suddenly and wondering for a split-second where you are and how you got there. I can’t explain it any more than this, really. I played at an open mic night with Josh and my friend Meredith. Man, it was amazing. I really miss playing music publicly. I need to do it more often. I absolutely have to make a note to do it when I get back to Utah. It was just… awesome. A great feeling.

So, now that Christmas is over and New Year’s has come and gone, I guess it’s only appropriate to say that I’m anticipating school. From one countdown to another, I suppose. There is more to come, so just hold on and keep singing that same song over and over again.